Friday, December 14, 2007

Why I have 6 QBs on my roster this week

Sorry I haven’t posted an update for awhile, but it’s mainly because there has been nothing to update. After clinching the best record in the league, I earned a first round playoff bye, which was last week. I was actually given the opportunity to ignore my fantasy team for a couple weeks (which I didn’t). The really weird thing is I was mad about my bye.

Statistically I had the best week of the entire season. Every single person on my team basically had their best game of the season, and it all went to waste. Sure, the result would have been the same (a spot in the semifinals), I just felt cheated by my team picking this week to play out of their minds. It was like studying like hell for a test, and when you get there, the teacher just decides to give you an A. Sure, it doesn’t suck, but don’t you feel just a bit mad knowing you would’ve earned the A anyways? No? Dah well, I’m sure somebody knows what I’m saying. And if you do, you’re probalby a nerd. Everybody loves a free A.

Which brings me to this week’s matchup, the semifinals of the playoffs. I am playing against Shananagans, whose QBs are Jason Campbell (who is out for the year), and Rex Grossman (who lost his job). Yes, he doesn’t have a QB to start. So what do I do? Dump all of my scrubs, and pick up every viable option at QB, naturally. Yesterday I picked up the likes of Todd Collins, Kyle Orton, Josh McCown, Trent Edwards, and Sage Rosenfals. All of which probably have never been on a fantasy roster at any given time, and never will be again. In all honesty, I wouldn’t be surprised if all of these trashballs caught wind of this and called their mothers to let them know.

I figure it is all about winning this week, and if I do, I am assured at least 2nd place, and win $275. Sure I’m a huge jerk and sabatoging this guy’s chances, but it’s his fault he is being a lazy bum and not playing to win. Like the always philisophical Herman Edwards would say: "YOU PLAY……TO WIN………THE GAME."

I will let you know this week how it all pans out. Here are the lineups for the week:


QB: Tom Brady
WR: Terrell Owens
WR: Anthony Gonzalez
WR: Wes Welker
RB: Joseph Addai
RB: Jamal Lewis

TE: Jason Witten
K: Stephen Gostkowski
DEF: Indianapolis


QB: ?
WR: Roy Williams (also out)
WR: Randy Moss
WR: Justin Gage
RB: Brian Westbrook
RB: Earnest Grahm
TE: Cris Cooley
K: David Akers
DEF: Denver

Friday, November 23, 2007


With my resounding victory over Craig’s team, Pacman’s Defense Team moved to 10-1, and I have clinched a playoff spot in the league, and most likely going to be the number one seed. Not only did I win lunch of Qdoba and a case of adult beverages from Craig, I completely decimated him. Tom Brady had five TDs, four in the first half. Terrell Owens exploded for 170+ yards and four TDs. Joseph Addai returned to normal form and scored again. And my personal favorite, Wes Welker, also got in on the act, scoring his seventh TD of the year. It was a beatdown in every sense of the word, and his team was the biggest hurdle I will encounter until the playoffs, I’m pretty much on cruise control from here on out.

Since it is a short work week, and short fantasy football week, there isn’t too much going on. This week I am playing The ArkaTek, who is a buddy from college whose team is really starting to come around. His team is dangerous, but definitely a tier or two below mine. Sorry for the short entry, but I’m still basking in my glory from Week 11. Here is my roster for this week, along with my opponents. The only notable change is the reinsertion of Calvin Johnson into the starting lineup, replacing Nate Washington. Figures the week I sit him, he gets his first receiving TD since Week 2.


QB: Tom Brady
WR: Terrell Owens
WR: Calvin Johnson
WR: Wes Welker
RB: Joseph Addai
RB: Jamal Lewis
TE: Jason Witten
K: Stephen Gostkowski
DEF: Indianapolis

The ArkAtek

QB: Brett Favre
WR: James Jones
WR: Dwayne Bowe
WR: Joey Galloway
RB: Reggie Bush
RB: DeAngelo Williams
TE: Tony Gonzalez
K: Rob Bironas
DEF: Kansas City

Friday, November 16, 2007

No longer undefeated, but still in first place

Well, my quest for an undefeated season unceremoniously ended Monday night, when the fantasy football week officially ended, and I lost 72.84-66.82. Yes, I lost by about six points but that's not too bad when you take into consideration what happened with my team:

• Not only did Damon Huard underperform, he actually produced NEGATIVE POINTS. He accumulated -2.68 points and was yanked for Brodie Croyle. Sure I didn’t expect him to light the world on fire, but to actually score in the negatives? Here’s a way to look at it. I’m a kid, and I want a Transformer for Christmas. I know Transformers are hard to come by, so I’d very much welcome a Go-Bot. But instead of a Go-Bot your parents get you one of those sticks with a cup on top and a ball on a string attached to it. I wanted Damon Huard to at least to be a Go-Bot. Clearly he wasn’t. He was the stick with a cup.

• Joseph Addai didn’t score for the first time since I have traded for him. I shouldn’t have to rely on a running back to score every week, but I’ve become accustomed to it, so it’s surprising when it doesn’t happen.

• Jamal Lewis disappeared against the Steelers. I was ecstatic when he scored, but then it was called back for holding. He is a very aggravating and inconsistent fantasy player. He runs for over 200 with a TD one game, nothing the next. Then he racks up 4 TDs vs. Seattle, then he is ineffective the next time he steps on the field. He is like that girl you know who can either look really good or really bad, with no in between.

• Jason Witten, who has been wonderful for Pacman’s Defense Team this year, only scored 1.2 points. I can’t really fault him for this, because any production he gives over average is bonus.

• “Super freak athlete rookie” Calvin Johnson continues to do nothing on the field, getting just 37 yards. He’s the girl you hang onto because she’s very good looking, but dumb as a rock. He looks good on paper, like the girl looks good in pictures.

Although all of that happened, I still only lost by six points. Sure Terrell Ownes had a monster day, but that isn’t completely out of the ordinary. So if I would’ve just had a smidgen more of production from the above players, I’d be sitting at 10-0 and with the exception of a few speed bumps ahead, seriously looking at going undefeated. Oh well.

I am still in first place with a comfortable cushion between myself and the second place teams. The best team I play from here on out is this week, and it happens to be against my buddy Craig. Oh yeah, the Patriots play Buffalo this week, so Tom Brady is probably gonna go off, considering Marshawn Lynch is out, their QBs suck, so they’re defense is probably going to be on the field a lot, thus being fatigued early and often. Let’s just say I’m not the least bit worried this week.

Here is my lineup for this Sunday, along with Craig’s. Let me know what you guys think:

Pacman’s Defense Team

QB: Tom Brady
WR: Wes Welker
WR: Terrell Owens
WR: Nate Washington
RB: Joseph Addai
RB: Jamal Lewis
TE: Jason Witten
K: Stephen Gostkowski
DEF: Indianapolis

Team Wookster

QB: Carson Palmer
WR: Braylon Edwards
WR: Torry Holt
WR: Stantonio Holmes
RB: Brandon Jacobs
RB: Frank Gore
TE: L.J. Smith
K: Josh Brown
DEF: Tennessee

Thursday, November 8, 2007

The picks I made and why I made them

Seeing as though there isn’t anything on with my fantasy team at this point in the week, I have decided to take a look at my draft, and re-evaulate how I did. Somehow, I’m in first place.

ROUND 1 (2ND OVERALL PICK): RB Steven Jackson
When I learned I was receiving the second pick, I was overjoyed. I knew Ladainian Tomlinson would be gone, so without a though I was going to go with Steven Jackson. He led the NFL in total yards last year, and was expected perform at a higher level this year. Well after 3 weeks of practically zero production, I traded Steven Jackson and Joe Jurevicius for Joseph Addai, and I have been reaping the benefits ever since. Jackson has been riddled with injuries, and although Jurevicius is invaluable for the Browns, he is pretty much useless for fantasy purposes. Meanwhile, Addai is tearing it up, and is a huge reason I am undefeated.

ROUND 2 (27): QB Tom Brady
I believe I have covered this subject at length. Looking back on things, isn’t it amazing 26 players were chosen in front of him? Players such as Cedric Benson, Clinton Portis, and Rudi Johnson? Although RBs are valued much higher, and nobody could’ve possibly predicted the season Brady is having, it is funny that somebody would draft a bum such as Cedric Benson over a guy dating Gisele. By the way did anybody know she had a twin sister? By the way, Tiger Woods’ wife also has a twin sister. Apparently supermodel twins aren’t bred in Lorain County. Except for those triplets posing for Playboy, but I’m pretty sure nobody has actually met them.

ROUND 3 (30): WR Terrell Owens
I was happy to have Terrell Owens as my first WR drafted, who has consistently put up superstar numbers for the past 5-7 years. He’s a great person to have on a team, unless, of course, you actually have to talk to him, be around him, or interact with him in any walk of life.

ROUND 4 (55): RB Julius Jones
Well I passed on Marion Barber III here, who has 22 TDs in his last 22 games. Julius Jones sucks, and I am going to chalk up this god-awful pick to being a fantasy football rookie. A new rule I will personally adopt: never draft anyone from Notre Dame. I traded him away earlier in the year to my buddy Craig, who also was not very thrilled to take him off my hands, but needed depth at RB.

ROUND 5 (58): WR Calvin Johnson
Johnson is still on my team, but with only 3 total TDs, he hasn’t performed up to my expectations. I bought into all the hype of Johnson being an athletic freak (which he is), but I thought he would be utilized more in Detroit’s offense, and put up huge numbers. No doubt I took him too high, but I continue to start him based on his potential alone.

ROUND 6 (83): QB Philip Rivers
I thought Rivers would be a good backup QB, and I thought 83rd overall wouldn’t be a bad place to take him. However, I ended up trading him away to a college buddy Tex, along with Michael Turner, LT’s backup. Rivers has been the model of inconsistency this year, and I’m not missing him.

ROUND 7 (86): Miami’s Defense
Talk about your bad picks. I thought Miami would be a solid D like they have been for the past two years. They rank among the league’s worst defenses, and it is picks like these that make fantasy football so fun. You never know how players/teams are going to perform year to year, and you’re left scurrying the waiver wire for replacements and absolute suprises to make your team complete.

ROUND 8 (111): TE Jason Witten
He was a steal this late in the draft. He is a top three fantasy tight end this year, and I am constantly being bothered by other teams in the league with absurd trade requests. I’ve become proud of myself for this pick, and it gets even more intense with Wes Welker, who I will get to momentarily.

ROUND 9 (114): WR Wes Welker
Wes Welker. Wes Welker. Just the sound of his name makes me feel proud. If you thought I was proud of the Witten pick, I am exponentially more proud of this one. I liken this pick to the movie She’s All That. Freddie Prinze Jr. discovers Rachel Leigh Cook as the dorky art student and turns her into a complete knockout. I guess this really isn’t like that movie, seeing as though he transforms her as a result of a bet. But you see what I’m saying. I feel like I turned this dud into a stud, and I was the only one who saw it coming. He is the pride and joy of my team, even more so than Tom Brady. He is my best performing WR, and it’s like watching my son grow right before my eyes. Except he’s two years older than me, I’ve never met him, and I have nothing to do with his development. Whatever.

ROUND 10 (139): RB Michael Turner
Although talented enough to be a feature back on more than half of the NFL teams, he’s behind arguably the best RB of our time in LT. I picked him primarily as trade bait to LT’s owner, which is precisely what happened. I ended up trading Turner and Philip Rivers for Jamal Lewis.

ROUND 11 (142): TE Eric Johnson
I drafted him because my uncle told me he was a fantasy sleeper this year, and he was going to have a breakout season. He’s gone. Eric Johnson, not my uncle.

ROUND 12 (167): K Stephen Gostkowski
I picked him because I figued the Patriots would score tons of points. They have been, so solid pick here. However, he doesn’t get a lot of field goal opportunities.

ROUND 13 (170): WR Devin Hester
The Bears said in 2007 they would feature the league’s most explosive player, Devin Hester, in their offense. They failed to explain it would be roughly once a game, if that. Needless to say, I dropped him almost immediately, even though he has scored a handful of points on special teams.

ROUND 14 (195): K Mike Nugent
Why I drafted two kickers I’ll never know. Dropped him very early in the year. Maybe I only drafted him because he’s a Buckeye great.

ROUND 15 (198): Cleveland’s Defense
I actually thought they would be a solid unit this year. Clearly they aren’t. I also think the gulit of not drafting on member of the Browns got to me, so I took them as my own personal Mr. Irrelevant.

Looking at who I drafted, and looking at my current roster, only 6 players I drafted are currently on my team. This shows all the wheeling and dealing that goes on day to day in the world of fantasy football. After my draft I thought it was worthy of an A+ grade, but now I would say it is probably closer to a C.

I’ll be getting back to you guys later in the week, and I am becoming increasingly more nervous about Week 10, as documented in my last post. Talk to you later.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Can Damon Huard take the handoff? We'll see

After absolutely annihlating my Week 9 opponent 145.2-55.04, the time has come for Tom Brady to take a week off. The Patriots have their bye week on Sunday, meaning I have to sit my All-Universe QB, along with my diamond in the rough WR Wes Welker. We all know that Tom Brady is having a historic season, and although I expected Welker to have a solid year, but I did not expect him to be my highest performing receiver. I especially root for him for some reason, like he’s the little guy who is finally getting it done. He’s like Pacman’s Defense Team’s Rudy. Except no movies will be made about him. But they are both undersized and white, that much they do have that in common. So much to my chagrin, I have to go into battle with my two of my top three performers on the bench.

Who will they be replaced with? Well I picked up Nate Washington off the waiver wire, who just had two TDs last night, he’ll be taking Welker’s place at WR. None other than Damon Huard will take the Golden Boy’s (my buddy Craig’s pet name for Tom Brady) in my starting lineup as my QB. DAMON HUARD? First of all he doesn’t even belong in the same sentence with Tom Brady, let alone carry the torch this Sunday for my fantasy team’s pursuit of an undefeated season (which isn’t as rare as I previously thought, but still uncommon nonetheless).

So why am I so nervous about starting Damon Huard? He performed well enough in Trent Green’s absence last year to convince Kansas City’s front office to release Green, and he has put up numbers that are good enough to keep his team in a position to potentially grab a wild card spot in the AFC. That should be enough to give myself piece of mind, right? WRONG. The sole reason my stomach is in knots this week is because of HBO’s mini-series Hard Knocks, which documented the Kansas City Chief’s training camp, and the QB controversy that was at the center of it all.

Huard and their QB of the future, Brody Croyle, battled the entire camp to see who would be starting this year. Let’s just say Huard didn’t win the job, but Croyle plain out lost it. Brody Croyle looked like he would be better suited to be on MTV’s The Hills hanging out with Brody Jenner than he would be leading an NFL team for a living. He stunk, and he stunk bad. On the other hand, Huard stunk too. They both were so bad coach Herman Edwards contemplated for weeks which bad QB was going to drive his team to the bottom of the AFC West. He ultimately chose Huard, who has done an admirable job keeping the Chiefs in the thick of things.

Well guess what? I find no soalce in that. Tom Brady is terrorizing the other 13 teams in the league, and now I have to step to the plate with Damon Huard? A guy who barely won the job from some loser kid, whose name sounds like one of a surf bum? It is official I hate bye weeks, but I will just look at this as an opportunity to see how good of a GM I really am. Actually that is the only excuse I can think of that doesn’t make me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Here’s a few of my roster notes:

It is Steeler week, and I regret to inform you that I will be starting not one, but two Steelers for Week 10. Nate Washington, as I mentioned before will be taking Wes Welkers spot, and Jeff Reed will be starting in place of my regular kicker, Stephen Gostkowski. I just want everyone to know that I will be rooting for the Browns in all facets of the game, and if it means my team has to take a loss to continue the Browns’ season of dreams, then so be it.

But it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if the two Steelers on my team scored me some points, but the Browns still beat them, right?

This wasn't all my idea

My buddy who convinced me to play sent this reaction to my fantasy season. I think it's pretty good.

Bill --
I feel somewhat responsible for getting you started on something that you will probably do for the next 30 years. As I have also said before ... you are enjoying a pretty special year so you better enjoy it (I know you are). I mean look how busts, injuries and surprise performers have altered other teams rosters. You have had the luxury of avoiding any substantial injuries and a little luck dealing S-Jax a week before he ruined his season ... had that not happened not even Tommy Brady coulda saved your season. I mean look at my team, I consider myself a Fantasy vet and have won my share of leagues. While I am still doing well ... (tied for second @ 7-2) my success has come much harder than yours. My #1 pick has been nothing short of a bust (Gore), but even during the draft I wasn't comfortable drafting in that slot .. I knew LT and S-jax would be gone (they were), I wanted Addai, Parker, and even Rudi Johnson (has been a model of consistency until this year) but at # 3 it was too high to pick them. So I take Gore ... and while its not his fault his QB and O-line are trash, it hasn't worked out. So back to the draft ... my other RB's were T. Bell and B. Jackson whom aren't on my team and don't even start (I know, these look like bad picks but before the year they were projected starters), I thought I had a steal when I drafted LJ Smith in the 8th round and his season stats look like this: 7 catches for 68 yards .. FOR THE SEASON!! Again no longer on my team .. Wait im not done, I drafted Carolina's defense because I though well, Peppers is a lock for 12 sacks and they have been a good D for years ... well they have given up 340 yards a game and Peppers ... he has 1.5 sacks through 8 games. So were am I going with this ... well currently I have 7 of the 15 players I drafted on my team and yet I am still 7-2. How?? Lets see ... after a huge week 1 I traded C. Brown for B. Jacobs (who was hurt) .. since Browns huge week 1 he has not topped 38 yrds rushing in any single game and Mr. Jacobs, well he has been elected as the offensive player of the month for October with 3 100 yard rushing games. Thanks. And what did I do about that defense .. well I picked up Tennessee in week 3 and they have been HUGE for me and currently are the 4th rated fantasy D this yr. Also my draft wasn't an entire waste of time ... the main reason why I am doing well has to be attributed to my eye for talented receivers. I drafted B. Edwards in round 4 and S. Holmes in Round 6. Currently, they are ranked # 3 and # 10 out off all the receivers in the league and by the way I also have T. Holt whom is having an off year but has still been very productive. What does all of this mean .. Well this is what makes fantasy football so fun. Most peoples fantasy seasons sound a lot like mine ... constantly adding and dropping players, proposing trades, and scowering the waiver wire for sleepers. As opposed to Bill's fantasy "season of dreams", in which he can sit back and watch T. Brady torch defenses, T.O and W. Welker catch TDs and J. Addai do raw every game. Were does this bring us .. well me and Mr. Hudnutt have a match up in week 11 and I am assuming he will still be undefeated at 10-0 (providing he gets past T. Brady's bye week) and I am hoping that I will have moved to 8-2 and will be in 2nd place by myself. This will be a battle of two very different teams .. Bill's team .. very little adversity and a Golden Boy QB ... My team ... battle tested, having gone threw numerous injuries and busts, but a battle it will be. Bill, I wish you luck in your week 10 match up and even if I lose to you in week 11, it will be ok, as my goal is to get that # 2 playoff seed and a first round bye. So again I will say to you, enjoy this season and recognize that it may be the easiest you ever participate in.


Friday, November 2, 2007

Roster moves

I don’t have any major roster moves this week, other than reinserting Terell Owens and Jason Witten into my lineup.

I’m also starting Kansas City’s defense due to the simple fact Tom Brady is going to shred Indy’s defense, then he will go have a nice, romantic dinner with his supermodel girlfriend, Gisele. My personal rule of thumb: Never put a defense up against a guy who is dating a supermodel, especially if he impregnated a gorgeous actress, and then leaves her for a supermodel. What am I getting at here? Tom Brady is a machine who isn’t afraid hurt anyone’s feelings, and something tells me he’s not going to take it easy on the Indianapolis Colts.